Hey guys and gals, do you remember Mitsubishi? No? Well check out today’s Evo IX and see if that jogs your memory. In fact, let’s see if its price makes you want to come running.

One of the foundational conceits for any true car enthusiast is that “Miata is always the answer.” Well, I’m here to tell you, my friends, that’s all bogus. You see, when the question is “how should I spend my $26,995 automotively, the answer does not come up . At least that was the response that 67-percent of you gave yesterday. That resulted in the custom but seemingly too costly Mazda dropping in a Crack Pipe loss, and now I don’t know what to think.

Back in the day, when parents wanted to lull their offspring to sleep they would read to them a bedtime story, perhaps something like Goodnight Moon or Everyone Poops. These days all a mom or dad needs to do to ensure a quick trip to slumberland is to read their kid the spec sheet for any modern Mitsubishi product. “The 2018 Mirage comes with a 78-horsepower naturally aspirated four cylinder engine and has an available CVT trans… (thud) zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

See, it even puts me to sleep.

This wasn’t always the case with Mitsubishi’s wares. Today’s Mitsubishi lineup may be a laughing stock, but not all that long ago some of them were true-bred rally stock.

Here’s one of those now! This represents what’s probably the most balls-out audacious embodiment of the Evo ethos. The following Evo X model, which ran from 2008 to 2015 had a lot of its rough edges knocked off and simply wasn’t as likely to get you arrested or engender an impromptu underlip tattoo in its honor.

Just as example of how sad Mitsubishi has become here in the states, their Website is still promoting the goddamn . Come on guys, the party’s over. Go home.

You could go home in this seemingly righteous Evo IX. The Graphite Grey over charcoal four door is described in its ad as being totally stock. This being the top of the line MR edition, it sports six cogs in its gearbox, a Bilstein shock at each corner, and forged BBS alloys in each and every wheel wheel well, save the one for the spare. It being an Evo IX it also has every bump, wart, and wing that model made famous. This is an aggressive, and some might say excessively styled auto, so if it’s a sleeper you’re after, you need not apply here.

The bodywork on the 81K car is said to be clean but evidencing minor flaws here and there, typical of a car that gets used but not abused. There’s no rust on the car, nor any accidents in its history.

Under the vastly vented hood lies Mitsubishi’s 4G63 DOHC four. This 2-litre rabid badger of an engine was good from the factory for 286 horsepower and 289 lb-ft of Chubby Checker’s favorite dance move.

This one is said to benefit from a timing belt and water pump refresh just 11K ago. The ad says that compression is still good and that the engine’s gearbox roommate shifts smoothly. A cone filter takes over the role of the factory air box, but everything else looks as it should.

, or go if the ad disappears.

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