You think hatchbacks are for Euro sissies, the Civic SI is too refined and the Caliber SRT-4 is too domestic. You need to be able to comfortably move four adults yet somehow it doesn't bother you that you're driving a car whose interior looks as though it was designed by a 16-year-old. You watch mixed martial arts. You are a 16-year-old.

You have no need for four doors, yet yearn for that third door in back. Owning a German car would impress your friends. You have an extra thousand or two to throw at a four-door GTI or Speed3. You care about interior quality. You watch soccer. You were born before the first Bush administration.

Speed Merchants: Yes

Fashion Victims: No

Treehuggers: No

Mack Daddies: No

Tuner Crowd: Yes

Hairdressers: No

Penny Pinchers: Yes

Euro Snobs: No

Working Stiffs: No

Technogeeks: No

Poseurs: Yes

Soccer Moms: No

Nascar Dads: No

Golfing Grandparents: No

• Volkswagen GTI

• Honda Civic SI

• Mazdaspeed3

• Subraru WRX

• Chevy Cobalt SS

• Dodge Caliber SRT-4

• Nissan Sentra SE-R, if you don't think the LSD, larger brakes, red seatbelts, 23 extra horses and stiffer chassis Spec V brings are worth $500.

• Manufacturer: Nissan

• Model year: 2008

• Base Price: $20,470

• Price as Tested: $21,660

• Engine type: 2.5-Liter NA I4

• Horsepower: 200 @ 6,600 RPM

• Torque: 180 @ 5,200 RPM

• Transmission: 6-speed Manual

• Curb Weight: 3,048 lbs

• LxWxH: 180.1" x 70.5" x 59.1"

• Wheelbase: 105.7"

• Tires: P225/45WR17

• 0 - 60 mph: 6.7 Seconds

• EPA Fuel economy city/highway: 21/29 MPG

• NHTSA crash test rating: *****

Also see:

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Exterior Design: **If someone ran over your mother with a 2008 Nissan Sentra SE-R Spec V right in…