A lot of have been popping up online lately. All of them alluring and dangerous, but I think I just found the most absurd of them all. This Hoss Fly Barstool is nominally a barstool. But it’s really just a 621-horsepower V8 with a seat on its air cleaner and a set of go kart wheels. This thing is probably the quickest way to die without even breaking the speed limit.

Motorized barstools are a wonderful thing. You’ve probably seen one or a few on Facebook. Those are often powered by those nifty Harbor Freight Predator engines or something even smaller. But the same folks who cram V8 engines into motorcycles had a dastardly idea: how about ?

Yep, that means this creation was brewed up by the same people who make . And like a Boss Hoss motorcycle, a Hoss Fly Barstool is properly ridiculous. This is something that’s calling itself a barstool that makes at least 621 HP from a 9.37 liter Chevrolet big block V8 crate engine, has a towing capacity of 2,000 pounds and you sit right on top of the air cleaner. That’s a lot of power directly under your crotch.

I’m still laughing hard at the idea of a barstool with a 2,000-lb towing capacity. And I say at least 621 HP because Chevrolet of this engine with 727 HP, so you can die even quicker.

How does something like this come to be? Well, . sells these as a kit. For $8,900 you get the Raw kit, which is everything you need to make a deathstool, minus a small block V8. For $9,900 you get the Deluxe kit, which is the same but with powder coated and chromed parts. And for $10,900 you get the Deluxe big block V8 kit, which is the previous Deluxe but fit for a bigger engine.

This one, of course, is the big block kit. Unfortunately, we do not know who decided to pair it with so much power when they could have just used a junkyard engine. But I’m so glad that they did.

Sweetening the deal is that the power reaches the ground through adorable little tires. Thankfully, top speed is limited to just 25 mph thanks to a hydrostatic transmission. But even if you don’t manage to kill yourself at such slow speeds, you’ll probably go deaf from the open headers flanking your sides.

Given the lack of practicality, this is just an expensive novelty toy.

Admittedly, it’s a really cool novelty toy. I bet it wouldn’t be too hard to get more speed out of it, too, if you really have a death wish. I really want to see ATV tires on this thing.

If you love the idea of a drivable engine stand, this machine is going up in Houston, Texas. Make sure you have your affairs in order, first.