I have grown weary of life in the big city. The stress, the noise, the trash smells, the 19-year-olds in Brooklyn who ironically wear t-shirts featuring bands that were popular when I was 19—all of it has struck me with an unbearable case of l’ennui. Thus, now seems as good a time as any to announce I am leaving forever to live in the French countryside inside the new Peugeot Boxer 4X4 Concept camper van.

Yes, I’m aware it is just a concept. I have my ways.

The van premieres this weekend at the Recreational Vehicle Show in Le Bourget, France, not far from where I will be making my new home in the wilderness.

Based on a standard Peugeot Boxer van—which thanks to the magic of Global Capitalism is effectively the same thing as the Fiat Ducato and thus the Ram ProMaster we have in America—the concept has 107.6 square feet of living space inside for up to three people, a bathroom, a small kitchen and an array of equipment for off-road living. It sounds nice and sustainable inside:

Special work has gone into choosing the materials: the table, the worktop and the sink are made of ARAGONITE white natural mineral, which combines the hardness of natural stone with the beauty of ceramic, while the entire floor is made of 100% recycled and 100% recyclable materials! The plastics used are made up of 85% car tank, 10% milk bottle and 5% various white (soap bottle for example). The 50 kg of recycled plastic it contains saves 75 kg of CO2 compared to a standard plastic floor.

Je t’aime. The van additionally packs a proper 4x4 system, defaulting to 2WD with selectable 4WD. It is designed to perform on gravel, mud, snow and more.

Specs aside, I find myself enthralled with the looks. The canoe up top, the side ladder, the bikes, the off-road lights on the roof... all of it looks much more appealing than a commute on the subway and a day spent in an office. I can see myself living this way, and I like imagining that.

Here I am, standing next to the van, enjoying a cup of coffee in the wilderness, content in my decision to sell all my things, disappear from my life and legally change my name (I’ve done it several times before, it’s not that hard.)

Here I am staying healthy on a nice bike ride, with no fear of getting hit by a bus (except this van, I suppose, as I could accidentally run into it.) How fun!

Here I am walking around the van, in nature, looking very cool and pensive.

Here I am inside the van, looking out the window and contemplating the nature of sorrow and existence. What is the meaning of life?, I wonder. I may even take up smoking while I do this. I am French now, after all.

You , but it can’t hurt either.