Those of us whose experience in the armed forces is limited to pwning noobs in Call Of Duty hear “military-grade” and assume whatever comes next will be elite and tough. People in marketing seem to think the same way. Folks who have actually served... not so much.

I don’t know if superstar commenter HamerheadFistpunch was actually in the military or not, but their assessment of the phrase “military-grade” as “eyeroll city” seemed pretty accurate.

As much as Americans love to think of soldiers as high-tech superheroes, in reality, the military’s methodology in acquiring equipment usually has more to do with “how can we get a lot of this very cheaply” rather than “how can we make this the toughest version of whatever.”

Military-grade pizza is, uh, just one fine example.

Anyway, “military-grade” as an advertising point needs to die next to “sporty dynamism” and “emotional” as vague nonsense. Thank you to those who suit up and serve the country anyway.