Today, I how a thief in California stole someone’s Jeep Cherokee XJ within ~24 hours of another thief stealing another XJ in Missouri—all in the middle of a pandemic. It’s heartbreaking, and got thoughtful readers thinking about whether I had safeguards in place to protect my three XJs. Well, as Jalopnik reader sakim172 writes in his , as a matter of fact, I do.

It’s become common knowledge around here that I’m a cheap bastard, and one of the downsides to being a cheap bastard in Michigan is that it means I have to deal with rust. So much, in fact, that I’ve actually turned the corner and become a rust connoisseur. I even bag the stuff—see image above. That’s some USDA prime choice Postal Jeep rust. Radio carbon dating puts the specimens at right around 1976, but based on the hue of the flakes, you can tell I bagged them in 2019.

Anyway, my affinity for Fe2O3 has actually caused rust to become my ally, joining forces to protect my beloved Jeeps from invaders. If that’s doesn’t make sense to you, let sakim172 break down how this alliance works in practice:

Sakim172, for your fine comment, I present you the Alan Jackson song “Drive,” which includes the line “Just an old worn out Jeep, rusty ol’ floorboards hot on my feet.” It’s not nearly a just reward for your literary excellence, but it’ll have to do for now, as the world has run out of riches.