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For $29,995, be unable to drive 55
For $29,995, be unable to drive 55-February 2024
2024-02-19 EST 22:10:12

Known as the Red Rocker, perennially permed axe man and bon vivant Sammy Hagar famously derided the double nickle. Sporting IEATZ28 plates and painted his eponymous color, today's 1979 Firebird is claimed to have once had Sammy's ass in its driver's seat. That's pretty cool, but does it also have a price that rocks?

They say those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks. I don't know what that has to do with yesterday's over the top , other than to point out that residing in a glass house and owning the truck would mean that you would be constantly be reminded of its 74% Crack Pipe loss in yesterday's vote. Living in a house made of glass would also let your neighbors watch you poop, so there's that negative aspect as well.

Some little kids think monsters live under their beds, while today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Yota…

Sammy Hagar currently provides lead wail for the old rocker's monetary fund known as Chickenfoot. Long an advocate of his audiences' imbibing - which improves the appreciation of his music extensively - he also shills his Cabo Wabo brand of tequila. Here's a sobering fact about Sammy however - the dude's 64 years old. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be ageist or anything, and I should be so lucky as to have that much energy and money when reaching such a ripe old age, but I still find it shocking to learn that Sammy Hagar is old as fuck.

They say you're only as old as you feel and with his usual wicked man-tan, I'd imagine Hagar feels like an MLB hall of fame catcher's mitt. Still, Sammy avers that there's only one way to rock, and he's become quite the master of that singular goal over his 40-plus year career. That has meant that over that time he's also had money to spend on the accouterments of the rock star lifestyle. That means lots of Les Pauls, trashed hotel suites, penicillin shots, and cars, many, many cars.

What we care about today (64? really?) are the cars, and in particular today's that is claimed to have once been resident in Hagar's one- two- three-lock garage. Is there any proof that this was once part of Hagar's stable? Well, there's nothing externally demonstrative of such, but he did write Trans Am, Highway Wonderland about his red Pontiac, so you be the judge. The second generation Firebird was never about subtlety and this one, in arrest me red and rocking a blower through its hood, is about as sophisticated and in your face as a Hagar black tee shirt sale arena concert.

That blower sits atop a twin-quad intake and feeds a greedy 454 V8 which is some serious heavy metal, and will go through 91 octane like Hagar's former bandmate - Eddie Van Halen - used to go through whiskey. That engine is attached to a TH400 which might indicate that while Sammy famously couldn't drive 55, perhaps he also was incapable of driving stick? Tee-tops and Trans Am-esque body add-ons (spoilers and spats, but no chicken) ensure the go is matched with show, although one might want to replace the snowflake-mounted raised letter Dunlop tires with a proper set of BFGs.

There's a mere 16,415 miles claimed to be on the Bird's clock meaning that either Sammy wasn't much for road trips, or he's a master of the odo roll back. Either way the promise of a celebrity past surely obviates any issue with miles or condition. Surely this car has one or more groupies passed out in the tight confines of its back seat, and as everything that Hagar does seems to be a party, maybe some of that excitement will have rubbed off from his time behind the wheel? Perhaps so, or maybe not, but either way this is about as close to the AARP-member rocker as you are bound to get without investing in one of his Cabo San Lucas timeshares.

Speaking of time and sharing, it's now time to share your opinion of this blown Pontiac's $29,995 price tag. You like Firebirds, you love Sammy Hagar, and the fact that this car rocks a supercharged 454, well, who doesn't like being blown? So, what do you think, is $29,995 a price that would make this a Firebird you would rock Or, does that make it Hagar the horrible?

You decide!

or go if the ad disappears.

H/T to Scandinavian Flick for the hookup

Help me out with NPOCP. Click to send a me a tip, and remember to include your commenter handle.

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