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For $3,500, Stockhomie Don't Ya Know Me?
For $3,500, Stockhomie Don't Ya Know Me?-March 2024
2024-02-19 EST 22:10:06

Today's Volvo really looks like it took its styling cues from the post-war Ford. This one also looks like a rat rod, and in fact it's really kind of ratty, but will that make its price seem like playing cat and mouse?

Yesterday clouds parted and rainbows poured down while unicorns danced with free-spirited naked virgins and it was revealed that oral sex prevents cancer and that Double Doubles will make you stone-cold sexy instead of fat.

Yeah, okay none of that really happened, but our did win a pretty decisive 80% Nice Price win and hopefully will go to a new owner who will love it as much as we all do. That was pretty good.

Since it was a Mercury, which was a division of FoMoCo, that Montego of course looked a lot like its Ford sire, the Torino. Volvo too was once part of the Ford family, and there was also once a Volvo that looked eerily similar to a Ford product. The thing of it is, those two things happened decades apart.

Have a glance at this and tell me if it doesn't look like a , right down to the horizontal grille splits. It's as though in designing the 444 Volvo's designers said, "Ya' all the American cars getting ze shoeboxen shape, but vat about da' folks dat's vantin' to roll old schoolin?"

This '54 is the definition of old school, what with its vintage Ford looks, primer'd presentation, white walls over moons on red-painted wheels, and bed spring grille work. This one's so early that it even has the split windshield, the single piece curved glass unit not coming until the PV544 four years after this one left Gothenburg.

Power comes from a 1,986-cc B20, an engine that arrived on the Volvo scene a decade and a half after the car was built. Gear change duties are handled by a 4-speed manual with a Dirk Diggler shifter. So far so good, right?

Well, now for the bad news. The gas tank has been replaced by a tubular plastic unit mounted in the trunk. That's a pretty precarious placement as the holes in the trunk floor might allow it to eventually fall through, which admittedly could only result in hilarity. Fiery death hilarity.

Not only is the trunk as full of holes as your favorite pair of underwear but the interior too looks to have swiss cheese for floor mats. In fact, the inside of this Volvo looks like you'd need to update your vaccinations just to ride in it - sorry Jenny McCarthy , no Volvo for you!

What I describe as septic some might aver to be nothing more than a desired and authentic patina of use, only adding to this Volvo's value. If you are among those then perhaps you might be interested in knowing the asking price for this PV444. That is $3,500, which is light for these cars, but of course this particular one - owing to its rust issues - is light as well.

What is your take on $3,500 for this Volvo? Is that a price that's low enough to make up for the potential metal work it will likely require? Or, is this Swede too much Swiss cheese to ask that much?

You decide!

, or go if the ad disappears.

Help me out with NPOCP. Click to send a me a fixed-price tip, and remember to include your Kinja handle.

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