Next summer on a flat AF salt pan in Bolivia, racer and TV host Guy Martin will attempt to set a record as the fastest human on two wheels. The record attempt will be completed on this ridiculous custom-built 30-foot-long steel and aluminum trellis frame bike, powered by a 1,200-horsepower Rolls Royce British military helicopter turbine engine.

Yeah, just look at that. Don’t you want to zoom across an alien landscape with that whistling like a demented tea kettle behind you? Just slurping down fuel and converting it into noise and speed like any good racing engine should. Zoom!

Obviously the chassis will be coated in a thin film of aero-smooth carbon fiber bodywork, for minimizing the coefficient of drag, and every inch of the chassis will be inspected and re-inspected for structural integrity. It’s likely that the attempt will include numerous runs, and there will probably be a TV production staff on site to capture the whole thing for a docu-series in the near future.

The goal is to push not only past the current motorcycle record of 376.363 miles per hour averaged across two runs, but to demolish that record by becoming the first human on two wheels to exceed 400 miles per hour. The old record was set by a team which managed a top speed of 394 mph on one of the two passes.

The plan right now is to finish the body in the next month or two and begin testing the bike at speed this summer. As I mentioned earlier, the record attempts will take place in Bolivia next year. As someone who has been infected by the salt flat racing at Bonneville, I wish Mr. Martin the best of luck in his endeavors. It’s going to take a lot of skill, talent, planning, determination, and luck to get the bike ready for the run. Once the bike makes it to Bolivia, it’s all about balls.

Here’s hoping he has enough to get the record.