Ever since the U.S. military started its off on the public through surplus auctions, people have been wondering how good they really are as off-road toys. I mean, we already know they’re suboptimal for city traffic. Anyway, here’s a peek at how to make one of these metal monsters sing.

If you’re hoping to find out how Dirt Every Day’s Fred Williams and Dave Chappelle got this thing road legal, you’re going to be disappointed. The process of getting license plates on one of these is apparently , but if you can tow your new Humvee straight to your rock-crawling arena of choice, it looks like a spine-squiggling riot.

The truck Williams won has portal axles, a 6.2-liter diesel engine, 37-inch tires and a few rat’s nests straight out of the auction, but he and Chappelle made this one a little extra awesome with even larger tires and some seriously aggressive fender-trimming.

Starting December 17, 2014 the general public will able to buy trucks from a surplus of "as many as

The results, well, I’ll let you watch the video. But I think the Dirt Every Day dudes were more impressed than they thought they’d be by this clapped-out war machine.