It is my pleasure to report today that it (the ) is yellow. That is, of the paint colors available on the 2021 Jaguar F-Type some of the colors are not yellow, whereas one, by contrast, is.

The yellowness of this color is beyond reproach.

Your legs feel frozen. A blinding light streaks across the sky, disappearing in dread over the…

That is, there is no doubt that the color that it is (yellow) is something clearly and universally identified as such. As yellow, rather.

The yellowness of this paint is both good and clear, and also beautiful, if I may be so bold as to say so.

In fact, I would go on to say that the beauty of it is matched equally in its whimsy, in its joy, in its wonder, in its novelty, and in its spectacle. Look! It’s! Yellow! It’s yellow. It is, which is good, and it is yellow, which is great. The quality of being that it possesses is being yellow. And of being good. And of being a good yellow.

Picture it now: It is winter. You are making your way through a lowland forest. Early morning is steadily becoming mid-morning, as you weigh your options on whether it is too late for a snack, lunch seeming to loom in your mind but the memory of breakfast still rattling around in there. You stride out into a clearing, dew hanging still. In this moment of being suddenly out from their cover do you remember that it is the birthday of the trees. You wonder if you see any buds poking from craggy branches. And somehow, in spite of everything, looking down beside you, you notice a single flower, what must not be more than an inch (2.54 cm) off the ground. The patchy ground cover is otherwise a mix of browns and flat greens, hard to even put a name to the color beyond grey if you were pressed to it. But this one flower, six-petaled and minute, giving detail even in this small scale, is nothing but bright, clear, ebullient yellow. The 2021 Jaguar F-Type is that flower.

Let me put it this way, to be more clear. If there was a wizard who stepped onto Earth from another astral plane and with the merest raising of an eyebrow immediately dissipated, deleted, dissolved all cars that were not yellow, the particular 2021 Jaguar F-Types spec’d in yellow would remain. Not the worst thing that could happen, to be honest.