zzdcar
Home
/
Reviews
/
Buying
/
Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Hummer H3, Part 1
Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Hummer H3, Part 1-August 2024
2024-02-19 EST 22:10:21

Maybe you've seen the Hummer TV ad where a two kids cut in line to a playground slide. The victim's attractive mother says, "I'm sorry, Jake was next." To which the other mother replies, "Yeah, well, we're next now." Then, inspired by an ad on a city bus passing by in the background, Jake's mom heads straight to the Hummer dealership, trades in her minivan for a new H3, and drives away happy with the tagline "Get Your Girl On" emblazoned across the screen. Finally, some truth in advertising. After all of the other ads with robots and monsters, or an average sized man in a workplace full of giants, Hummer is coming out and saying it: the H3 is for girls that want to feel tough.

Now, that's not to say that there's nothing macho about the H3, or that it is anything less than capable as an off-road vehicle. Only the most die-hard Jeep fans would fail to be swayed by the trail-crawling prowess of the H3. But, much like most SUVs on the market, most H3s will not be taken off-road. Few will probably even see the stability control light turn on. Point being, the H3 is an image vehicle, both for previously-snubbed milfs and the polo-wearing frat boys that love them. How else can you justify a $29,500 (base with destination, $35,550 as tested) vehicle with fuel economy lower than 19 mpg and a 220-horsepower inline-five that struggles to move all 4700 pounds?

Granted, the Hummer is not unique in its inefficiency, only in it's sloth-like performance. In 2007 the H3's engine grows to 2.7-liters and power jumps a sorely needed 22-horsepower. It's an old argument, but the argument still remains that, especially in the 30-thousand-dollar range, there are far wiser choices than the Hummer H3. But just because this reviewer would rather have an Infiniti G35 or Dodge Charger R/T does not mean that the average H3 buyer does similar cross-shopping. The H3 exists because people want to feel invincible, and in a lot ways the H3 succeeds in that role. Inside, the high seating position and narrow windows are as close to sitting in an armored car as you can get. Visibility suffers, but plenty of SUVs drivers don't seem to care about other vehicles on the road anyway so that's hardly a problem. The interior of the H3 is also one of GM's best, with plastic that doesn't feel like a Happy Meal toy and an excellent layout.

Once you actually get up to speed in the H3 it handles well for what seems to be a high center of gravity vehicle. And, soccer moms rejoice, the turning radius is fantastic for fitting into tight parking spaces at the local big box retailer. So the H3 is not some silly toy of a vehicle. As previously mentioned, it's even pretty killer off road. But any serious adventure driving would probably scratch your nice new paint job. If you're really into rock-crawling and mud-bogging, it's a better idea to buy some old beater and throw on a lift kit. But if you're really into looking like you're really into rock-crawling and mud-bogging, the H3 is a good place to start as long as you don't mind the high price of fashion. [by Mike Austin]

Related:

[internal]

Pssst. Hey kid, wanna get a 30% boost in fuel efficiency? A dealership chain in Detroit is fitting…

Comments
Welcome to zzdcar comments! Please keep conversations courteous and on-topic. To fosterproductive and respectful conversations, you may see comments from our Community Managers.
Sign up to post
Sort by
Show More Comments
Buying
For $20,995, Does This Porsche Have Its Engine In The Wrong End?
For $20,995, Does This Porsche Have Its Engine In The Wrong End?
Fencers typically begin a match with the warning en garde. Today’s Porsche 944 is in Guards Red, and will foil pretty much any Épée. It’s up to you to determine whether or not its price will have you sitting on the fence. The Scoville scale offers a measure for the...
Aug 28, 2026
2014 Infiniti Q50: First Drive
2014 Infiniti Q50: First Drive
The first thing you need to know about the all-new , the for their G37 sedan, is that they got rid of the clock. I'll give you a moment to let your shock set in. The small analog clock, a mainstay in nearly every Infiniti since the brand launched in...
Aug 28, 2026
For $6,000, This 928 Is On The Ragtop
For $6,000, This 928 Is On The Ragtop
Porsche’s 928 is best known not for what up top, but for its Sir Mix-A-Lot worthy rump. Today’s edition has “dat ass” but as an added bonus, it goes topless. You have to determine if its price is also in top form. Furgone baby, gone it may have been, but...
Aug 28, 2026
For $39,000, It’s A Four-Door, V8, Flying Purple People Eater
For $39,000, It’s A Four-Door, V8, Flying Purple People Eater
Porsche named their first-ever SUV after a hot-ass pepper, but that model's reception from the brand purists was lukewarm at best. Today’s custom turbo edition might just spice things up, but will its price leave you cucumber cold? You ever hear of a one-hit wonder? You know, one and done?...
Aug 28, 2026
2013 Ferrari FF: The Jalopnik Review
2013 Ferrari FF: The Jalopnik Review
We all have different visions of a Ferrari. For many of us, at least those of us who have reached a certain age, our first experience driving a Ferrari came in the Sega classic Out Run. But Ferrari has a new and different vision for us. And that's this: The...
Aug 28, 2026
For $5,200, How Much Polish Do You Have?
For $5,200, How Much Polish Do You Have?
In the 1880s Oklahoma’s Cimarron Territory was the scene of a flood of squatters, each seeking to claim land prior to of the Homestead Act. In contrast, today’s Cadillac Cimarron is a car that typically few want to claim, but perhaps this one’s price will make it squat-worthy. I noted...
Aug 28, 2026
Copyright 2023-2026 - www.zzdcar.com All Rights Reserved