Drop-kicking the accelerator is like hitting a crack pipe; the rush is outright mad, instantly exhilarating and altogether unhealthy. A lack of German engineering in a car this powerful is refreshing. The GT500 is as American as Marlboro Reds, 72oz steaks and adult-onset diabetes; wrapping yourself in a flag would be less patriotic. Despite all odds, the Shelby is a blast to drive really fast. The brakes will man up and save your bacon, and then do it again. Tight back seat doubles as a handy dog carrier. The commodious trunk makes it realistic for daily use. It's both fantastically butch-looking and ordinary, which makes it as stealthy as a Q-ship. The price makes it the performance steal of this decade. The hottest MILF in the Valley walked up to me and said, "Nice car." Did I mention that the acceleration is more fun than seven roller coasters?

You're not sold on last century's technology. Precision in all things is your thing, and you need a little foreplay. Underneath all the snakes, Eaton blower and bluster sits a $17,000 rental car. The ride is just pathetic and the road noise isn't far behind. Its collar is bluer than Larry the Cable Guy's routine; nothing Volvo going on over here. Despite having decent gas mileage (for what it is), the tank is only 15-gallons large; real world range is about 250-miles per fill-up. The massive bulge in the hood makes parking an F-150-ish affair. You're too old.

· Speed Merchants:

· Fashion Victims: No

· Treehuggers: No

· Mack Daddies:

· Tuner Crowd:

· Hairdressers: No

· Penny Pinchers: No

· Euro Snobs: No

· Working Stiffs: No

· Technogeeks: No

· Poseurs: No

· Soccer Moms: No

· Nascar Dads:

· Golfing Grandparents: No

· Manufacturer: Ford

· Model tested: Shelby GT500

· Model year: 2007

· Price as Tested: $43,250

· Engine type: 5.4L Supercharged V8

· Horsepower: 500 hp @ 6000 rpm

· Torque: 480 lb-ft @ 4500 rpm

· Redline: 6250 rpm

· Wheels and Tires: 18" Aluminum wheels w/ P255/45R18 fronts, P285/45R18 rear

· Drive type: rear-wheel drive

· 0 - 60: 4.5 seconds

· 1/4 mile: 12s

· Fuel economy city/highway: 15/21

· NHTSA crash test rating front/side/rollover: NA

Related:

Jalopnik Reviews: 2007 Ford Shelby Cobra GT500, , [internal]

Ford's Shelby GT500 is the real, vulgarian deal. Sure, its faults are numerous: It's too fat (3,920