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Everyone makes a global vehicle, but some models are more focused on particular markets. The US market and the Mercedes GL are a prime example, and nothing brings this to the fore like a trip to office during rush hour I think, as the parking sensors trill their warning at me from all sides. With rickshaws and motorcycles threatening to scratch my paint, I break out in a sweat and tiptoe through the honking hordes until I realise that without so much as a peep from me they’re parting like the Red Sea before Moses. If he was driving a GL, he wouldn’t feel any different, I’m sure. My perspiration stops as I change from nervous wreck to feeling like the Tyrannosaurus Rex in Jurassic Park, chasing down the little Gallimimuses of vehicles and watching them scurry away in fear. This is truly the life.

The first day I drove the GL home, I was just getting to grips with its size – and then I fell violently ill and didn’t touch it for the next week. However, after that it saw quite a bit of use. I took it to my music group’s rehearsal, where all our equipment fit in the boot without any trouble – a welcome change from having to sit in the rear seat of my own little hatchback with a couple of guitars in my lap while we commuted to practice. The rear seats fold flat at the touch of a button, which helps with the load bay. Unfortunately the relevant motors in our test car had a problem, so I had to do this manually. While we’re on the subject of problems, there was a rattle from the front right suspension components over bumps, and a very annoying creak from the tailgate but I was willing to forgive it because it was a 40,000km old vehicle that had just returned from a trip to Ladakh. Another unique problem the GL presented was one of parking – I live in a place where parking is at a premium, but we get by with our tiny hatchbacks. If I have a large car, I park it one building over, where the road widens significantly… but with the GL, it was no use. No matter where I parked it, there wasn’t enough place for anything wider than a mid-size sedan to get past. This was also made evident on an airport run, where the GL showed that it is so long, it cannot fit into a mere single parking space in Mumbai’s new T2 terminal.

Problems with size aside, it fit everyone who came along for the ride very comfortably, including my forty-foot self in the third row, which is the first time in my life I have been comfortable there. The moonroof and the clear line of sight out the front helps immensely with the sense of space. The adjustable recline of the second row also helped eke out enough kneeroom for me. The ride is surprisingly good in the third row – another first for me. This was despite the massive AMG-spec wheels and tyres, which I’m not a fan of. Sure, they make the car look great, but Indian conditions don’t agree with that sort of wheel-tyre combination. The ride is harsh, and picking up punctures becomes too easy. I found out the hard way that there isn’t any information in the owner’s manual about how to go about switching a wheel for the space saver provided. The flip side of those sticky Pirellis is the grip – the GL may look like a house on wheels, but it has so much grip, I actually laughed out loud with delight the first time I found an opportunity to swing through a corner in a hurry. Off-roading wasn’t on my list of things to do with the AMG-pack-equipped GL, despite the ability to raise the ride height, hill descent control and other off-road aids. I also discovered that a driver that isn’t smooth can quickly make the rest of the occupants uncomfortable.

Other nice things about the GL were the parking sensors that turned themselves on automatically at low speeds, and the Harman-Kardon audio system that despite only a two-band eq sounded great. You’ll still need a converter cable if you want to plug in anything other than a USB cable. We also had the additional screens mounted on the headrests of the front row but I didn’t use them.

For such a large vehicle, the fuel consumption wasn’t half bad. We consistently averaged between 10 and 11kmpl, but the way the GL responded to different driving styles was almost like a petrol. Pratheek and I would compete against each other to see who would win (I did, every time!) and the difference would be a significant 1-2kmpl. That doesn’t seem like much, but in percentage terms it is 10-20 per cent. Out on the highway is where the GL performed best, both in terms of fuel efficiency and comfort. Engage the cruise control, and it rolls on with a feeling of inevitability, and you feel like nothing will keep you from rolling towards your destination except for lack of fuel in the 100-litre tank.

The GL is one of the puzzles of life – it is something you want despite knowing how impractical it is. I’m not a fan of the urban SUV, and yet, despite everything, the GL has grown on me. Pun unintended. I just hope Mercedes lends us one with smaller wheels and taller tyres, and I’ll let you know how much better that is at going off-road as well as doing the T-Rex impersonation in traffic.