I know we all love Kei cars, but what about cake cars? I know what you’re thinking and no, I do not feel bad about that play on words. If I had the capacity for shame I would not be working here.

The “everything is cake” meme started way back in that Age of Innocence 2019 and kept going until the early days of COVID-19 lockdowns. It eventually fizzled out as trendy memes tend to do, but this week the gang at Guinness Book Of World Records was determined to take the cake meme all the way to its logical conclusion, timeliness be damned.

As you can see, Guinness declared in the video It’s CAKE! which kinda spoils the reveal. You’re suppose to slice into the car and blow everyone’s minds Guinness!

The video actually shows two “cars” made out of cake. The organization was attempting to break two world records: fastest edible car and the farthest distance traveled by an edible car. As they are without drivetrains, the vehicles are less cars and more billion-calorie soapbox derby entries.

It took a team of nine people 46 hours to build the two cake vehicles, which are over 90 percent edible. The only thing you can’t eat on these cars is the aluminum chassis, steering wheel and wheels. The white car was made with 139 vanilla sheet cakes, while the black car was built using 145 sheet cakes. The whole mess was then draped in buttercream frosting and fondant. The cakes were models off of actual CART and F1 cars.

And I bet you didn’t expect the driver of the white cake CART car to be actual CART (and F1) driver Michael Andretti, but he is indeed piloting a replica of a car he drove during his ‘91 championship-winning CART season. The black cake car was a replica of his father’s, Mario Andretti’s, also-championship-winning 1978 Lotus 79 F1 car.

The cars were pushed down a parking garage ramp to achieve their record-setting speeds and distances. Again, this seems, to me, to make them more fast cake carts, but I’m not the one handing out awards and printing books that list those awards. Naturally, piloted by a professional driver, Andretti set both world records achieving a speed of 17 mph and a distance traveled of 349.8 feet. I mean, that’s a lot faster than any cake I’ve ever eaten.

The cake was distributed to the team at the Guinness attempt and to a Vancouver-area homeless shelter.