The engineers at Nissan are excited about autonomous driving technology. So excited in fact, they pulled themselves away from working on actual cars to demonstrate how smart they were with self-parking office chairs. Office chairs that terrifyingly move around when you leave the room.

I’m admittedly a little confused. I bought my office chair for too much money at Staples, in pieces, in a box. I brought it home, assembled it my damn self, and put it at my desk; a spot it happily hasn’t moved from in over six months. I’m quite satisfied knowing it is dead inside, and not going to suddenly drag me away into the hell Nissan’s autonomous seats spawn from.

Nissan apparently has different plans for its office chairs.

NOPE. Tell me that isn’t something straight out of Paranormal Activity. Here’s an idea: tell your employees to not be inconsiderate and lazy.

The system uses at least four cameras in the room to analyze the 3D space, communicating and informing the chairs how to navigate the room and tuck themselves back under the desk. First we took cursive out of third grade, and now we wont even be teaching Kindergartners to push in their chairs. What little monsters they’ll become.

The chairs were developed to show off Nissan’s upcoming autonomous automotive technology. Technology they plan to provide in either semi-autonomous or fully-autonomous capacity in at least ten production models by 2020. You want to know how other companies would approach showing off autonomous automotive technology? Making an updated autonomous automobile to demonstrate (and not the ).

Why not make a refrigerator that comes to me when I clap? Or a bookshelf? Interactive terrifying punching bag you get to chase?

But that’s just me. Demonized haunted office chairs are cool too, I guess.

Meanwhile, Nissan dropped out of LeMans with a failed FWD racing prototype, there’s no news of a new Z sports car being developed, and all while some humble Jalopnik staff rode in a Tesla Model S that virtually entirely on its own.

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