If I hear one more person say that they have to buy a car with an automatic transmission I’m going to go to that person’s house to teach stick shift lessons. Fucking stop it.

Before you get mad, yes I know there are plenty of non-men who can drive stick and I imagine that some of them have to be dating/married to, tolerating a person who cannot for whatever reason operate a car with a standard transmission. The thing is, I have never heard anyone but a fella blame their significant other for their decision to buy or shop for a car with an automatic. Like saying that your significant other won’t let you go out to the bar, play golf or have fun with adult men who you refer to as “the boys,” this is something that only men seem to do. And, also, just like when they say those things, they are almost always shamelessly lying.

Sometimes you do the mental gymnastics necessary to convince yourself that in a car where both transmissions are available, the automatic is the better choice— this has never been the case. Sometimes you physically can’t operate a stick shift. Sometimes you are a professional racing driver selecting the actual race car that you will race in order to earn the money that you live on. Sometimes the car you want only comes in an automatic and you compromise. I have a GX470, I get it.

All of these are normal reasons why a person might choose to buy a car with an automatic. It’s fine!

But it and once you learn, it’s incredibly fun and easy. Your wife/gf/SO isn’t some joyless crone who refuses to accommodate your desires and interests. They’re a real person with an inner life as rich as yours, probably richer. Do you think they don’t have the capacity to learn and enjoy a manual transmission? Do you expect me to believe, after all the things they have put aside, backburnered or forgotten about for you, that they just can’t or won’t do this one, specific thing? After the shitty stuff that you’ve put them through? Do you expect people to believe that?

Or do you just, for one of the aforementioned reasons want a car with an automatic? Come on. It’s fine. Just admit it. Stop blaming your poor partner every time you have to choose to do something you’re embarrassed about. They don’t deserve it.