Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Mercury Milan, Part 2

The Milan is probably the best looking of its corporate siblings, but that's kind of like winning a beauty pageant over Denis Leary and Kathy Bates. My neighbor, who had no idea what the Milan was, said it looks "so suburban." My neighbors drive minivans, Priuses, and Matrixes (Matrices?). It...

May 19, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Mercury Milan, Part 3

The Mercury Milan is a decent value and a stylish alternative to blandmobiles like the Camry and Impala. Plus, it's almost fun to drive. And you can feel all warm and fuzzy about buying American, even if it's made in Mexico. The Mazda 6 shares some of the Milan's architecture,...

May 19, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution IX MR, Part 1

Let's be perfectly clear right now. There are lots of very fast cars on the market, and they are all very good in one way or another. But the Mistubishi Lancer Evolution is different from those cars. It's in a higher class. Driving it is an addiction. The Evo is...

May 19, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution IX MR, Part 2

The Evo is not a pretty car, but it does have a functionally sinister appeal. Aesthetics have been thrown out the window, but kind of like how a bear holding a shark sacrifices beauty for scaring your pants off and possibly mauling you, the Evo is styled as if every...

May 19, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Nissan Xterra, Part 1

George Carlin once said, "Technically speaking, Attila the Hun led an active, outdoor lifestyle." I mention this because there can't possibly be enough base-jumping, BMX free-styling, kayak-loving dudes (and dudettes) mountain biking all over creation to actually support the Xterra. Like most folks, every few years I get a sense...

May 19, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution IX MR, Part 3

You want a performance car that's friggin' sweet but need four doors or all-wheel-drive; you like humiliating Corvette owners. You're a little too mature to have a giant wing on your car, or you're not interested in insurance premiums as high as your car payment. · · Fashion Victims: No...

May 19, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Nissan Xterra, Part 2

The Nissan Xterra looks like a high top sneaker and comes in a shade of yellow you'd never allow in your house. Still, the front bumper is larger than that of most Korean imports (and not painted in some goofy color). That gives the truck serious off-road-a-tude. Sure, the roof...

May 19, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Nissan Xterra, Part 3

You'll never be late to a road-luge competition again. You feel others need to know how healthy and tan you are. Awesome rubber-coated cargo area is great for hauling your gear, bro. You can hide mass condoms in the First Aid kit. You enjoy driving. Also, the Xterra's funny looking...

May 19, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Audi A4 3.2 Quattro, Part 1

On the surface, the A4 might look like just another "premium midsize" sedan in a sea of not-BMWs. As car reviews go, this one's a challenge because, while the A4 is not the best in its class, it's none so horrible as to be dismissed from consideration. But before we...

May 19, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: Audi A4 3.2 Quattro, Part 2

My man MCA's got a beard like a billy goat, which is exactly what the oversized grill on the A4 resembles. But, unlike on most people, the A4 rocks the goatee well. And it's got a little bit of flava in the headlight and taillamp treatments to give a little...

May 19, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Audi A4 3.2 Quattro, Part 3

You always wanted a German performance sedan but care too much about what others think about you to get a BMW; you really like Audi but the wife won't let you get "that station wagon," also known as the A3. You've got a little too much "flava" to go with...

May 19, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2007 Volkwagen Passat Wagon 2.0L, Part 1

Once upon a time, Volkswagen was known as the affordable-German-car company. It built sensible but well-engineered cars, like the Rabbit, and even if they fell apart like anything touched by Isiah Thomas, it wasn't so bad because they were as easy as making toast to fix. Over time, Volkwagens grew...

May 19, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2007 Volkwagen Passat Wagon 2.0L, Part 2

Wagons usually come off as either nerd-chic or mom's baby-hauler. Neither option is very cool. The Passat Wagon is a shapely thing, and like we said it looks better than the sedan, but in the end it's a little too bland and vague in form. Chrome is technically more of...

May 19, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2007 Volkwagen Passat Wagon 2.0L, Part 3

It's exactly what the car you need, even though you think you need a midsize SUV. That, and you've had an attachment to Volkswagens ever since that weird guy who hung around your high school parking lot offered you a ride home in his microbus. You are single and lack...

May 19, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Audi A6 4.2 Quattro, Part 1

The Audi A6 4.2 is a lot like a Michael Bay movie. Bear with me. It's got all the gizmos and gadgetry to make your wildest dreams come true, all centered around a 335-hp V8. Plus, it looks good (more on that later). The A6 4.2 is the automotive equivalent...

May 19, 2024