Name one good thing about the 2006 Mercedes SLR McLaren. I’ll wait. You can’t, can you? That’s because it was a truly hot mess, and a Hoovie’s Garage episode on Paris Hilton’s old SLR shows why: its service costs add up to the cost of a brand-new car... as long as that brand-new car isn’t, y’know, another SLR.

When Hilton bought her car new back in the day, she paid $463,000 for it. A newer buyer got it for the exceptional deal of $180,000 (the depreciation alone should have been a bad sign)... only to find that the service fees on it were, uh.... large.

That new buyer took the car in for an oil change and walked out with his wallet $34,565 lighter, like:

“A Service,” which is not specific and is listed for $2,105

A new power steering pump, $2,22oA steering rack, $6,270A Mercedes turbine-styled wheel to replace the bent one on the car, $1,899OEM battery replacement, $1,350Gas door struts, $2,500Brake line mounts, $1,350Tire pressure monitoring sensors, $1,700Brake caliper cooling ducts, $1,250Wipers, $105Washer nozzle, $500Gas cap tether, $100Tire fit container, $215Drain plug replacement $850Among other things

Oh, and you know how you’ll have to change your brakes at some point in the eventual future if you, y’know, drive a car? Yeah. That’s going to cost at least another $20,000. That’s probably part of the reason it’s only been driven 21,000 miles.

Now, for over $30,000, you wouldn’t be able to buy another rare supercar. You could, however, buy a new base-model Mercedes A-Class that will not only be cheaper up front but will also probably be cheaper to service in the near future. Which the SLR will not be. Because it is awful.

That said, I suppose you can’t put a price on sitting in the same cockpit as Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears.