Facebook Marketplace has provided us many gems in our day, but I can’t think of anything quite as glorious as this that has been transformed into the most incredible funeral-coach-slash-escape-room you’ve ever seen. I’ve never wanted anything more, and I am truly heartbroken that it is pending sale.

It is rare that a vehicle leaves me speechless, but I have to let this Novi, Michigan ad speak for itself:

1982 Airstream Excella 280 Funeral Coach converted into an Escape Room called the Vampire’s Lair. Escape Game: This is an actual working and running Escape Room game (Vampire’s Lair) that accommodates 5-6 players with game time of 35-40 minutes. New owners will get all advertising/marketing material and training to run game. Game is not scary but morbidly creepy!!! Favorite among kids, teens, college and horror fans!

Funeral Coach: 1982 Airstream 280 Funeral Coach. 28' long built on a Chevy P30 truck chassis with 454 gas engine. (Currently not running - last ran 5/6 yrs ago. Must be towed/flatbed to your location). You get this RARE Airstream only 1 of 33 built by Airstream along with the game and all the props and contents.

Asking $50,000 for Airstream and working Escape Room Game Business (will consider reasonable offers, trades and bitcoin/ethereum). Perfect for existing Escape Rooms, Haunted Attractions or buying a business that could be Mobile!

The Airstream itself is an incredible machine, and finding a well-maintained unit from 1982 is quite impressive. They were outfitted with a 454 V8 engine and automatic transmission, and they were pretty much luxury on wheels. The riveted aluminum body traditionally featured a bathroom with a shower, a full kitchen, twin beds, a sofa bed, and two HVAC units for optimal comfort. But I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if you’re buying the ol’ Vampire’s Lair, you’re slightly less concerned with the mint reality of an old Airstream and more interested in, y’know, the “morbidly creepy” business that has been run out of it in recent years.

As it states in the ad, this machine doesn’t actually run, so there’s no word on what lies under the hood. Instead, the interest rests in the black seats, the glass-enclosed coffin, the throne, and the handcuffs.