In an tastelessly executed attempt to increase the click-baitiness of their blog, an insurance peddler surveyed "2,000 licensed drivers" and has now decreed that big black Ford pickups are sexy, mailmen are gross, and the way to a woman's heart is "large gifts from Crate & Barrel."

Here's how women voted on which vehicles made a man attractive in 's survey:

1. Pickup trucks: 32%

2. Sports cars: 27%

3. SUVs: 16%

4. Sedans: 11%

5. Hybrid or electric: 9%

6. UPS truck: 4%

7. Minivans: 2%

8. Mail truck: 1%

Ford was declared the sexiest brand, somehow. Who cares. The ground-breaking story here is that both UPS trucks and mail trucks made the list. Also the fact that they used auto journalists as experts on what women want, and those experts decided the answer to that question is "someone to do chores for them."

The one woman they could get a quote from said she preferred men driving "a Range Rover or Tesla Model S."

Executive Editor of Cars.com Joe Wiesenfelder was sadly plied into saying; "A woman walks up to a black pickup truck and says to herself, 'Here's a guy who can help me move, bring me large gifts from Crate & Barrel and do repairs around my condo.'" In regard to when he's driving a press loaner pickup, he added; "That's when I find I have a lot more friends, and a lot more dates than I realized."

Joe, no! How did you think that would be a good thing to commit to the eternal ether of the internet?

Female commenter(s?) of Truck Yeah!, there has to be at least one of you, please weigh in on the sex appeal of a delivery trucks, and elaborate on the differentiation between the big brown ones and the little white ones.

Wait a minute... did I just answer my own question? Gross.

Image: /Flickr