We are trash. I’m trash, you’re trash. Your sweet aunt is trash. And so is your kid. Which is exactly why we don’t deserve the nice concepts has dreamed up for the upcoming . They are too good and pure for this world.

Suzuki’s theme this year is “Waku Waku Switch for Everyone,” which, as a , is Suzuki’s take on cars, motorcycles, motorized wheelchairs and outboard motors that “delight customers.” In particular, I’d like to show you the cars you can expect to see at the Suzuki booth. (Also, I apologize in advance for the low-resolution images; Suzuki’s press site only offered everything 400 pixels across.)

The first is this Waku Spo concept, which is a wonderful compact. Suzuki says it represents a “shareable future ‘small car’” that can “transform” to fit each driver’s needs. It’s also a plug-in hybrid. The concept looks like a tribute to the Japanese compacts of the 1960s, such as the first Toyota Corolla and the Datsun 510.

Then we have the awesome Hanare concept, which is fully autonomous and described as a “mobile room.” It’s designed to shuttle its passengers around in a comfortable space that’s similar to a “detached cottage” (which is what “hanare” apparently means in Japanese). It sounds like an incredibly cozy way to travel—and it’s a great looking van!

The Hustler concept is imagined as a “mini crossover wagon.” It looks to be an updated version of the . I’ll never say no to one of these.

Another version of the Hustler concept is this rugged, outdoor one. It has fun paint and decals, as well as a roof rack for all your fun, rugged, outdoor toys like toboggans and caribou.

Lastly, there’s this Every Combi concept, based on the Suzuki Every microvan. The concept was developed in collaboration with baby stuff brand Combi and gives people room for baby activities like changing diapers and breast-feeding while on the go or at outdoor events. It could even act as a shelter during natural disasters.

Leaves the babies out of it, I say! I’d like this little utilitarian microvan for myself.

Will Suzuki ever come around to building these wonderful machines? Maybe, but I don’t think we’ll ever get them here. We’ve strayed too far from the light of God. So, so far.

Genius often goes unappreciated in its time. Van Gogh died penniless. Galileo lived his final years

If you’re in the Tokyo area in the next month or so, definitely think about heading over to the show for a peek. Public days start on Oct. 24 and run through Nov. 4.