Welcome back to , the series where we make up the rules a new way each time. In this installment, I want to know Who Ya Got between a and an original .

And then, only after you’ve pictured a clear winner in your mind palace—nevermind that the wallpaper is moving in there, you’ll never know what it means— with that winner in mind, I want you to watch this video that will satisfy this otherwise straightforward challenge.

The video comes from the , which has had its hands on a slick blacked-out Hummer H1, making it do all sorts of experiments. Does it , something possibly right under our very noses (or perhaps under this paragraph)?

People of Jalopnik, I have sold my Hummer. Yes, that’s right: my giant, slow, loud, gas-guzzling,…

Regardless, I am curious to know just how wrong my preconceptions of the realistic performance of both the H1 and Jimny are, and I’m not sure it’s a surprise:

It’s not too surprising that a much smaller, much newer vehicle with an otherwise similar overall “layout” outperforms something that probably wasn’t given much more thought or consideration in development after it successfully started running.

But yeah, the cute little Suzuki Jimny wins the race, and of course scores another one in our hearts.

As much of A Thing the H1 is to own, and as much personality as it seems to add on camera given every attempt, it’s hard for me to admit that I would rather have the Jimny. For one, it’s not cool to look like a cop, and if you paint it like this you just start to look like some embarrassing Scarface wannabe.

The Jimny, on the other hand, always presents as adorable, gently, approachable, and excitable. Not to mention the seats are probably world class compared to the old Hummer. I buy with my butt and then my brain.