zzdcar
Home
/
Reviews
/
Culture
/
The Hearse Was Designed As A Flex For Dead People
The Hearse Was Designed As A Flex For Dead People-February 2024
2024-02-19 EST 22:11:52

A hearse signifies the death of the Cleveland Browns at Cleveland Stadium in Cleveland, Ohio, as this is the last season before the team moves to Baltimore, Maryland. The Packers defeated the Browns that day 31-20.

I unironically love , which is surprisingly not something that stemmed from my high school days as a raging goth but instead through my recent belief that a would probably be one of the best vehicles for road tripping. The back space is literally designed to fit a body. Throw a mattress in there, and it’s like a little house on wheels with the added benefit that I doubt anyone will want to poke around in there.

If you want a visual history of the hearse, you can watch one from . But I have my own favorite bits of history to share, too.

What we know as a hearse today originally started out as a way for a few people to carry a dead body from Point A to Point B. But the name ‘hearse’ derives from the Middle English word ‘herse,’ which was a candelabra often placed on top of the coffin. As you can imagine, once you start loading up a dead body with more and more decoration, it gets a little too heavy to carry. Now, you need to put the coffin in a cart or, later, a car.

Humans have made a big deal out of death for as long as we’ve been recording history. Whether you were a engaging in one of the first ritual burials ever, a Viking pushing your dead out to sea in a little boat and then lighting it on fire with a flaming arrow, or a modern-day Tibetan monk chopping up your pal and leaving his body on the top of a mountain, we’re a species obsessed with death and the meaning-making rituals that accompany it.

Hearses are part of that long history—specifically the part of history that began in the 17th century. The same way ancient Egyptians buried pharaohs with tons of luxurious goods, 17th-century folk started decorating hearses. The more elaborate the hearse, the fancier you were.

And things really kicked off in the Victorian era, when literally everything worth decorating had to be sumptuous, rich, and a little gaudy. It was the era of Gothic Revival buttresses and spires, bold floral everything, overstuffed furniture, velvet, and medieval-looking fleur de lys patterns, after all. How are you supposed to let the poors know just how poor they are if you don’t flaunt your absurd wealth at every opportunity — even from beyond the grave?

Those really elaborate hearses were really popular in the United Kingdom and on the East Coast of the United States. Move out to the Midwest, and people just kind of stopped caring so deeply about the carts that took ‘em to the grave. (Whether that’s because Midwesterners didn’t have the luxury of a close-packed city to flaunt their money, or whether that’s because Midwesterners were more likely to derive from austere Scandinavian tradition, I don’t know.)

It was a similar story when they started throwing engines into hearses — and I’ll let Donut Media tell you about that, because my hearse expertise is quite literally horse powered.

Simply put, it took a long time for a motorized hearse to catch on because it cost a lot of money — but now it’s the same story as the past. The richer you are, the fancier your hearse. You want a Maserati hearse? You can get one. You want to go all-out with decorations? You can. You want a massive procession? You got it. It’s a beautiful thing.

Comments
Welcome to zzdcar comments! Please keep conversations courteous and on-topic. To fosterproductive and respectful conversations, you may see comments from our Community Managers.
Sign up to post
Sort by
Show More Comments
Culture
Here's Every Generation Of The Glorious Audi RS6 Avant
Here's Every Generation Of The Glorious Audi RS6 Avant
For a very long time, the Avant was the forbidden fruit of wagon nerds in North America. It was the bitchin’ German battle-wagon that we could only eye enviously from across the Atlantic. Here’s a walk through them all, right up to the , which we can finally have. The...
Feb 14, 2026
Volkswagen Will Now Convert Classic Beetles To Electric Power Which Is Maybe Even Better Than A New EV Beetle
Volkswagen Will Now Convert Classic Beetles To Electric Power Which Is Maybe Even Better Than A New EV Beetle
I knew that even though , they wouldn’t everreally be able to not build some sort of Beetle, and I think this announcement proves that to be correct. VW is partnering with German EV conversion company eClassics to do conversions of classic, air-cooled Beetles into EVs with modern electric...
Feb 14, 2026
Yellow Days — 'Just When'
Yellow Days — 'Just When'
Traffic sucks, so why not start your morning off with some music? You provide the toast and we’ll provide the jams. It's just one of those (yellow) days. ...
Feb 14, 2026
Why Bugatti Thinks It Could've Gone Faster Than That 304-MPH Speed Run, But Chose Not To
Why Bugatti Thinks It Could've Gone Faster Than That 304-MPH Speed Run, But Chose Not To
Just recently, Bugatti took a pre-production, monstrously powerful Chiron out to break the 300-mph barrier that, until now, was said to be elusive only by virtue of the . But while Bugatti , the company wants everyone to know it could’ve gone faster. Bugatti announced its speed run, in...
Feb 14, 2026
General Motors' CEO Is Meeting With Top Critic, Donald Trump, And Things Could Get Awkward
General Motors' CEO Is Meeting With Top Critic, Donald Trump, And Things Could Get Awkward
Mary Barra is walking into Donald Trump’s lion’s den today, more on the UAW corruption situation, and more drama from Nissan. All of that and other news in for Thursday, Sept. 5, 2019. President Donald Trump has been shit-talking General Motors for a while now over , over the...
Feb 14, 2026
Cute Cars Can Go Fast Too
Cute Cars Can Go Fast Too
The 1960s were a wild time where anything was possible and unlimited speed potential was at the tip of your fingers. In 1964 Jack Griffith was determined to out-Shelby Shelby by shoehorning a smallblock Ford V8 into the engine compartment of the delightfully cute fiberglass-bodied TVR Grantura. The road...
Feb 14, 2026
Copyright 2023-2026 - www.zzdcar.com All Rights Reserved