The Tokyo Motor Show is here, and you know what that means: automotive blue balls! That’s right, it’s the time when we get to stare at sweet concept cars that won’t make it to our roads until they’ve been ! Awesome!

Sometimes, when enthusiasts don’t get enough of those swooping lines or those gorgeous LED headlights, we tend to get a bit frustrated. To satiate enthusiasts’ primal needs, there exist these things called “concept cars.” They’re like those hot singles on Tinder who talk to you and say they’ll have coffee with you, only to fall off the face of the earth. You know the kind.

The latest Tinder-bot from Subaru is called the Viziv Future Concept (that’s just its screen name; who knows what its real name is) and her Tinder profile is filled with the fluffiest, most meaningless PR jargon ever recorded:

Subaru VIZIV Future Concept is a SUV-type concept model embodying the future vision of car development for “enjoyment and peace of mind” that Subaru wants to provide to customers. Along with a package of design features that motivate the owner to get out and get active, this car gives a look at next-generation technologies that will further enhance the reputation of Subaru for “enjoyment and peace of mind” in driving.

If that paragraph doesn’t scream “Tinderbot” to you, I don’t know what will. But, for kicks, let’s keep reading.

Scrolling down in her profile, we see that she comes equipped with a small turbo flat-four and a hybrid powertrain. Ooh, a hybrid powertrain :blushes:. That’s hot.

But what matters most in a partn—err, car, is what’s inside. And on that front, here’s what the VIZIV’s got to say for herself:

The interior design heightens peace of mind and the anticipation of driving, by means of a dynamic motif spreading out symmetrically from the cutting-edge interface between the center and powerful frame.

An active life style is evoked by the beige and black contrast along with the use of orange as a unified accent color inside and out, creating a sporty and joyful space.

Really? Active Lifestyle? Sporty? Joyful? Who says those words? This thing’s a robot. No doubt. But the interior looks like a great place to spend time.

Okay, so we know we’re dealing with a bot, here, but let’s get a little crazy and talk about hardware. Basically, Subaru took the downsized direct-injected turbo engine from the and tweaked it. It’s smaller, lighter and more efficient. The torque vectoring all-wheel drive system loses the rear driveshaft by placing the single electric motor “concentrically” on the rear axle. Pretty fancy.

It should be no surprised that this robot is filled with gadgetry. A camera making sure the driver doesn’t doze off? Yup. GPS and radar-based collision avoidance system? Mhm. Automatic driving and parking? Of course.

But forget about all that. What matters is looks, and this thing looks sweet.

I could gaze into the headlights all day. Those big, wild wheels, those clean doors without handles and that strong, rugged ride height have me in a trance.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’d swipe right so hard I’d leave a burn mark in my screen. Let’s hope the real thing won’t be such a tease.