Time is fleeting, and once it’s gone you can’t get it back. You can’t relive your past. Who you are now will never experience things the same way as who you used to be. That’s all well and good, but this 1984 Chevy Blazer is a real actual time machine. Look at it! Clearly this street rod was sent from the distant past of at least 30 years ago to warp you back to a time when people realized how freakin’ cool teal was.

The seller claims that this is just a normal average street rod blazer with a recent nostalgically sympathetic restoration, but I know the real truth. They used the time machine function to go back in time and somehow Donald Trump ended up with a Farmers Almanac book from the future. They saw the error of their ways, and the ripple effect repercussions of such time jumping actions, and decided to do no further damage.

Being cowards, however, they are selling the truck rather than dispose of it, as would be prudent.

With a three-tone paint scheme blending creme with two shades of teal, this Blazer has all of the visuals to blend in with the nostalgia minitruck scene. When you add in the fact that the truck’s original engine has been replaced with a ZZ-4 GM crate motor pumping out 350 horses, 88 miles per hour shouldn’t be a problem at all.

Completing the look is a set of bumpers molded and shaped to the body tighter. The wheels are Camaro IROC Z 16" take offs that have been color-match accented to the body colors, which is cool as hell. The hood features about 11,000 heat-venting louvers.

Up top, though, is where the real changes lie. Out back you can see a huge space-shippy wing bulging up from the roof. And over the cockpit of the Blazer is a big fat nothing. Where once there was roof, no more. The listing says that a lightweight targa panel was crafted to cover the huge gaping hole, but is not shown in any of the photos. Please install before time-jumping, lest you be sucked out of the truck into the swirling ebb vortex.

The truck/time machine has a bangin’ sound system, custom covered front seats, and all the trappings. Even with the engine swap and all the custom work, the cruise control still works. The air conditioning and door locks are installed, but don’t function.

All of this minitruckin’ good vibe can be had for $16,900. Frankly, for a truck with the ability to take you back to see your childhood, it’s worth several orders of magnitude more than that. You can find the truck , but do so at your own peril.