It’s time for some self-reflection my good friends. It’s time to talk about your worst driving habits.

I don’t know if I’d say this is a bad driving habit so much as it is a bad habit I do while I’m driving, but if I’m on a longer road trip, I’ll buy a bottle of soda (that cream soda Dr. Pepper fucks me up) and put it in the cup holder open once I have a few initial sips. That way, if I’m driving alone, I don’t have to worry about opening it and closing it every time I want a drink.

The only problem is, I’m a klutz. You’re talking to the gal who recently spilled an entire water bottle onto her laptop and tried to suck water out of the USB ports like she was sucking out deadly venom from a snakebite. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve knocked those sodas over. And they can never just spill onto the floor mat or anything. No. It’s always gotta go right into my aux cord port and the little square console hole I keep my chapstick in. It’s stupid.

(This is a problem that is not exclusive to the driver’s seat or even to vehicles in general. I have lost count of the number of times my husband has told me not to spill something and I have immediately proceeded to spill it.)

But if I’m really going to out my bad driving habits… it’s gotta be this one. If someone is driving like a real asshole, I’ll be shitty right back and drive real slow in front of them and box them in next to a semi or someone else driving equally slowly. It is not a good habit. It probably contributes to other people’s road rage. But it makes me feel very self-righteous in the moment, which I suppose is all that matters.

I’m sure you’ve got your bad habits, too. So spill.