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1,500 Horsepower, Retina Scanner, 'Shock' Doors: All Options On This SUV
1,500 Horsepower, Retina Scanner, 'Shock' Doors: All Options On This SUV-October 2024
2024-02-19 EST 22:13:23

, the batshit-awesome Russian luxury war-machine shiller, will be celebrating the 100th anniversary of "Russia's Motorized Infantry" this month by releasing a vehicle with an options list that literally reads like a Bond car loadout.

With the platform and powerplant from a 2015 Mercedes-Benz GL63 V8 or G65 V12, the latter of which can be "tuned to 1,500 horsepower at the customer's request," Dartz's Black Shark will be available with:

Vigiton: A "vigilance telemetric control system, capable of constant monitoring of driver's psycho-physiological condition and overall awareness, so you don't have to worry about unreliable driver."Electrochromatic windows (automatically tinting.)"Disappearing" door handles with an "anti-paparazzi shock-device."A completely Kevlar-titanium body (to mitigate attack from magnetic mines.) Rotating bulletproof grill (why does it rotate?)Fingerprint recognition and retinal scanners Dartz calls "Golden Eye" (sounds familiar.)Sirens/Alarms to scatter crowds.And a Vertu phone that's leather-stitched and diamond-encrusted to your pleasure which can run all those accessories and monitor the vehicle's condition, tire pressure, what have you.

As Dartz puts it:

"Let's face it, you are bored of serial-made cars. We all are. Downsizing, eco-friendly recycled plastic materials and law regulations are making ways to stand out among the best in the car industry very inconvenient."

Welp, the Black Shark (named after the military helicopter) is going to stand out alright. Then zap anybody that dares get too close with a screaming siren or a cattle prod.

A full release on the vehicle's equipment and capabilities are meant to come out in just a few days (October 19th) so get those stainless steel credit cards ready!

Image: Dartz

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