You don't care if other people think you're cool; you know you're cool. If you want a job done right you think you have to do it yourself. You've got a bad habit of getting into car chases that end in fiery explosions. You were alive when the movie I'm alluding to premiered.

It is important that others know you've got a big... er... engine. You think you're cool, but just in case here are a couple of awesome stripes, gigantic foglights and an ugly spoiler. You don't care about balance or composure, you care about numbers. You want something on a piece of paper you can show everyone else. Let's understand each other — I don't like you.

Speed Merchants: Yes

Fashion Victims: Yes

Treehuggers: No

Mack Daddies: Yes

Tuner Crowd: No

Hairdressers: No

Penny Pinchers: No

Euro Snobs: No

Working Stiffs: No

Technogeeks: No

Poseurs: No

Soccer Moms: No

Nascar Dads: Yes

Golfing Grandparents: No

• 2010 Chevy Camaro

• 2009 Dodge Challenger RT

• Dodge Charger Police Package

• Shelby Mustang 350-H

• BMW 335i Coupe

• Infiniti G37

• 1968 Ford Mustang 390 CID Fastback, Highland Green, no badges, dented in the front

• Manufacturer: Ford

• Model year: 2008

• Base price: $27,020

• Price as tested: $34,705

• Engine type: 4.6-liter V8

• Horsepower: 315 @ 6,000 RPM

• Torque: 325 @ 4,250 RPM

• Transmission: 5-speed Manual

• Curb weight: 3,590 lbs

• LxWxH: 187.6" x 73.9" x 55.5"

• Wheelbase: 107.1"

• Tires: P235/55ZR17

• 0 - 60 mph: 5.0 seconds

• EPA fuel economy city/highway: 15/23 MPG

• Jalopnik fuel economy: 18.4 MPG

• NHTSA crash test rating (Front/Driver Side/Passenger Side): *****/*****/****

Also see:

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I managed to drive nearly one thousand miles across Texas in a 2008 Ford Mustang Bullitt without…