Hey — Bugatti Chiron Pur Sport owners, put down your hoagies and whittling knives and ice tongs, because I have important news! and dangerous! There are nine people in America who are affected by this recall, but I urge the other 51 owners out there to yank off the filthy tarp from your Pur Sports and see how bad those rear tires are, because according to the NHTSA, those shitty tires can “lead to a loss of vehicle control, increasing the risk of a crash.” Man, what a heap.

According to the NHTSA’s recall website, Bugatti thankfully has an interim repair available:

As an interim repair, dealers will replace the rear tires on the affected vehicles every 1,875 miles or when tire age reaches 1.5 years. Once newly designed tires are available, the tires will be replaced again. Repairs will be performed free of charge. Owners with tires that have already reached 2,500 miles or 1.5 years should not drive their vehicle until the tires are replaced. Owner notification letters were mailed on December 30, 2021. Owners may contact Bugatti customer service at 1-703-826-7545. Bugatti’s number for this recall is BUGCR025.

So, it looks like the best you can hope for is 2,500 miles out of the tires that came with the car, Michelin Cup 2 R 355/25-series tires, which were supposed to be good for the car’s top speed of 217 mph, but don’t even think of trying that on cracked rubber.

I guess the good news is that the lease agreement for a Pur Sport is only 2,500 miles a year, so it’s unlikely anyone is driving these things much more than that, and I’m gonna go out on a limb that a grand total of zero of Pur Sport owners are driving these anywhere near 200 mph, ever. I bet the average speed of a Pur Sport over all its drives is somewhere between a schnauzer at a trot and a schnauzer at a nap.

Now, if you’re too impatient to get the replacement tires from your local Mitsubishi/Bugatti dealership, I bet you could throw on a set of Toyos or Kumhos or something in the interim and just do your absolute best to not exceed, say, 160 mph or so, if possible.

Maybe stick a Post-it on your speedo to remind yourself?

Look, these I bet they have the exact ones in back, if you ask. I bet you could find some decent used tires, too!

Let’s be absolutely, brutally honest here: you can’t be that surprised this is happening, can you, Bugatti owners? I know this really sucks because most of the nine American Bugatti drivers rely on their cars to get them to and from their day jobs, before they need them again for their night gigs, and that’s rough.

I’ll bet most Pur Sports are also sporting those to cover up the worn and torn Alcantara and leather, and probably also have coat hanger radio antennae and side mirrors held on with generous amounts of duct tape.

I’m just really, really sorry that the Pur Sport owners have to go through this. They’ve been through so much already, and this just feels like a real slap in the face. The last thing they need is another reminder of being stuck with a pile like those Pur Sports, am I right?

Anyway, if any Pur Sport owner needs a ride to the dealership, just let me know and we can get your Bugatti on blocks, throw the bad rubber into the hatch of my Yugo, and get the short-term replacements from the dealer.

I’ll even get us lunch! What kind of do you want?