I may have lied to you. You may need to follow for these two tweets.

I present the former, which is the tweet which inspired the entire Jalopnik staff to go through the gleaming catalog of the longtime NASCAR driver’s tweets:

Do I know who that is? No. Do I trust in its bountiful blond mullet to guide me to wisdom? Yes. That tweet is excellent and worth a follow on its own. But in our search we also found this:

and finally this:

Michael Waltrip gets it, man. Twitter is a horrible place (, as we all do!) except for the few shining lights such as, well, the rest of Waltrip’s feed. Follow this dude.