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For $29,900, Stroke Me, Stroke Me!
For $29,900, Stroke Me, Stroke Me!-July 2024
2024-02-19 EST 22:10:07

In a song honoring one of Chevy's all-time great mills, the Beach Boys used to sing she's real fine my 409. Todays Trailblazer SS might have you intoning it's real great with a 408, but of course that's only if its price hits the right chord.

Have you ever read , the sidesplittingly funny 'autobiography' of NASCAR racer Stroker Ace? What, you haven't? Motorboatin' Jebus, that just won't do! I heartily recommend that you do so as soon as possible, and perhaps that should be one of your New Year's resolutions. Do not - I repeat, DO NOT - think that watching the Burt Reynolds movie adaptation is the same thing as reading the book. That cinematic steamer is an insult to the William Neely-penned tome, and an affront to fans of the book everywhere.

What the book and movie do share however is a main character named Stroker Ace, and while outside of car culture that name may sound like that of a porn star who specializes in a particular and solitary fetish, we all know that a stroker is an engine that has been embiggened through the application of a longer connecting rods crank. If you were to bump up displacement through the only other means, the fictional protagonist of Neely's book may have been named Bored Ace, and that just doesn't hold quite the same cache.

Stroker kits are a fairly common way to boost an engine's size and hence output, and today's has been imbued with just such a rod longering. That has bumped the displacement of the aluminum block LS2 to a capacious 408 cubic inches, and should be good for a decent increase in ponies, if possibly at the cost of rev-ability.

This might lead you to think- well, that's pretty nice and I'll bet this bad boy is a torque monster, offering a lot of grunt in the basement but I'm guessing not so much upstairs. Well good news, the builder of this beast - said to be Atlanta Chassis Dyno in Covinton GA - didn't stop at cubic inches. In addition to the longer stroke, those now bigger lungs are filled with a denser charge by way of a honking'-big 76-mm turbo.

All that is said to make the mill good for 732-hp at the flywheel and an honest 626 at the wheels. The ponies are corralled by what's described as a brand-new 4L70E auto box rocking a Coan 3200 stall TC, and which works through a stout Eaton posi rearend.

Wrapping around that is what the ad claims to be a perfect Trail Blazer SS body. This of course is the short wheelbase version - the elephant schlong-like EXT thankfully never having been offered in SS trim. The standard version not only was thus imbued but it also had the honor of being the first SUV so badged. Not only that but it had the stones to back up that venerated Super Sport name, the stock six-litre, 391-horse truck being good for zero to sixty runs in under six seconds. This one of course, will likely be faster.

Going that fast should also be comfortable experience as the suede and leather seats still seem to be in great shape, and there's an 800-watt stereo because, well, of course there is. The outside is appreciably free of tacky add-ons and in fact the Trailblazer SS in its pure, uncut form is one damn-fine looking truck. This one has only 35,000 miles under its belt, and the seller says everything works without issue.

What remains at issue is why, after going to all the trouble to build this monster, the owner now wants to be rid of it? Health or money issues? A fear that it's haunted by a particularly flatulent ghost? Or, does it just no longer stroke his beard?

Whatever the reason, it's now on the market, at $29,900, and you now need to determine if it's worth that much. What do you say, is this stroked and turbo'd SS worth that kind of scratch? Or, is this a Trailblazer whose price will give it no following?

You decide!

, or go if the ad disappears.

Help me out with NPOCP. Click to send a me a fixed-price tip, and remember to include your commenter handle.

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