Okay guys, this is getting ridiculous. I thought we’d reached the peak of quarter mile insanity when Lucid told me that the tri-motor Air could spit out a 9.3-second run down the 1320. In Tuesday’s Tesla Battery Day announcement, however, company mascot and lunatic prophet Elon Musk announced that the Model S Plaid was even quicker. My irresponsibly fast EV can beat up your irresponsibly fast EV.

According to the presentation, the tri-motor Model S Plaid is capable of running a sub-2 second 0-60 sprint, a sub-9 second 1/4 mile time, and has a top speed over 200 miles per hour with a combined 1100 horsepower of electric output. Maybe even more staggering is the claim that the car will exceed 520 miles of range. What will it do for a lap time at the famous California circuit Laguna Seca? How about a 1:30.3? That’s almost exactly the same lap time Randy Pobst pulled in the 991-generation Porsche 911 GT3 RS.

Interestingly the only thing that has an exact number is the Laguna Seca lap time. Everything else is “at least” or “less than” which tells me the final spec of this car hasn’t been fully tweaked quite yet. But, if you’re interested in the potential of a three-motor Model S, you can order one right now on Tesla’s website for the paltry price of $139,990. Tesla says it will begin delivering Model S Plaids in “late 2021”. Of course, you can place a fully refundable $1,000 deposit interest-free loan to get in line for yours today.

The car’s build sheet doesn’t show anything particularly interesting. The Plaid is still limited to the same five boring colors as all the other Model S, and there are a pair of wheel options, including the 21" Sonic Carbon Twin Turbine which I’m sure will cut into that 520 mile range a bit. The interior can be had in two different carbon fiber trims, or the cream seats with oak. Neither seem really appropriate for a car that can run the quarter in sub-9, if I’m being honest.

We can probably stop with the quarter mile time obsession now. It’s just gone too far. Nobody needs a car that can do 0-60 in under 2 seconds. It’s absurd that anyone with $150,000 can just place an order for this level of rolling vehicular manslaughter from the factory. If you want to run faster than 12s, you should have to build it yourself.