Down here in the left-leaning, hard drinking, queso-loving center of Texas, it's the most wonderful time of the year. I'm not talking about the odd game where the Longhorns might just pull off a win — I'm talking about the Formula One United States Grand Prix in Austin.

Now in its third year, this weekend is when the world's top motorsports series comes to one of the very best tracks in the entire world for the only current F1 race in the U.S. If you're an American, you should be thrilled, because it's our race and it's always a hell of a show. Last year some 250,000 people attended over the three days of racing.

More importantly, it's a great weekend to be a gearhead in Austin. If you love cars and racing and live in Austin, suddenly you find yourselves surrounded by kindred spirits. The Porsche, Ferrari, McLaren and Subaru BRZ count seems to go way, way up. Everyone falls in love with speed, or at least just pretends to because it's a great excuse to party.

Speaking of parties, there's a ton of those everywhere, because many of the folks who fly in for F1 are members of a posh, jet-setting crowd. They're not gonna be pounding Lone Stars at Barfly's on Airport Boulevard; they're swilling bottle service champagne and conversing in some fancy language. Like Italian.

Basically, F1 is an awesome event. But if you're a regular reader of Jalopnik, you know this, and you could be an avid fan. You may even be going to the race this weekend! But for those who don't get it, or who are new to watching the race or attending, I have put together this handy guide. Give it to those not in the know and watch as they become rapt in awe and forever converted to F1 fandom. It's simply that good.

And if you're going to the race, or just plan on watching it, there may be some useful stuff in it for you too. Let us know if we missed anything in the comments.

Unbeknownst to many Americans, there are other forms of racing besides NASCAR! F1 cars are open wheel, single-seat racers that do both left AND right turns. The series features some of the best drivers anywhere and is considered the highest level of auto racing in the world. (Besides the . Obviously.)

If you want to know more about how F1 works, check out from the inaugural Austin race in 2012. A few things have changed since that season but it's still a great resource.

Formula One, the world's premiere motorsport, is returning to the United States this weekend after…

Built in majestic Elroy, Texas but now annexed to be a part of Austin, it is a 1,000 acre facility with a 3.4-mile track designed specifically with F1 in mind. It's a fantastic track, currently among the newest and best in the world. It's a complex, technical, 20-turn course with lots of hairpins, elevation changes and blind corners. . No one died.

In addition to the track, there's grandstands, good views of the race from any general admission seat, and fancy suites. There's also an amphitheater where they have live music. This year, Kid Rock is playing after the race ends on Sunday.

Please accept our sincerest apologies for this oversight.

Basically, it goes down like this: practice on Friday, qualifying on Saturday, and the race on Sunday. Here's .

Like I said, single seat, open wheel, open cockpit race cars. They use and do not refuel during races — pit stops are only for tire changes and things like that. The cars can do well over 200 mph.

The engines are all-new for this season. Previously, they were naturally aspirated 2.4-liter V8s, but now they run much smaller turbocharged 1.6-liter V6s. These new V6 engines sound considerably different, and not in a good way, much to the chagrin of most fans.

I don't think we can be friends.

That's right. Each team has two drivers, but everyone is out there for himself. If a team has a second name, that refers to who built the engine; the McLaren Mercedes car, for example, is a car run by the McLaren team that uses a Mercedes engine. Engines are crazy expensive, so not every team can afford to run their own. Other engines are built by Ferrari and Renault this season.

This weekend will be interesting because there will be four fewer drivers on the grid than normal after two teams, Caterham and Marussia, are unable to race.

Cars are en route to Austin for the United States Grand Prix, and per Bernie Ecclestone, two teams…

Yes, there are support races, like and Ferrari Challenge. Plenty of racing entertainment to go around.

For the first time in history, Porsche Supercup's final race of the season is in the United States.

Sadly, we're almost at the end of it. After this, there's two one more in Brazil and then Abu Dhabi. If this is your first experience, consider it your gateway drug.

Pick a few and see how they do! There's Mercedes driver , currently in the lead for the 2014 drivers' championship. He won here back in 2012. But don't count out his teammate, Nico Rosberg, who is second to Hamilton in points.

There is no denying that Lewis Hamilton is one of the most brilliant Formula One drivers and…

Beyond the Mercedes leaders, I'm a fan of Red Bull's Daniel Ricciardo, an extremely talented up-and-comer and someone I think will be a future champion; mumbling daredevil weirdo of Ferrari, a perennial Jalopnik favorite; his teammate Fernando Alonso, who like Raikkonen has been trying to hold it together despite years of suckage; and Valteri Bottas, another young star who drives for Williams.

Also, all of the driver and team alignments will be up in the air next year .

Sebastian Vettel will be leaving Red Bull Racing at the end of the 2014 season, and he could land…

In the U.S., NBC is your go-to. Practice will be live at 3 p.m. Friday on the NBC Sports network. Then on NBC itself, qualifying will be live at 1 p.m. Saturday, and the race will be live starting with the pre-show at 2:30 p.m. Sunday. (All times are Eastern.) But it's not as fun as being there!

There's a lot to do in the capital of Texas, America's most kickass state. Great music, barbecue and Tex-Mex await you. First and foremost, you should come to tonight. No need to RSVP, just show up.

Stef put together and you should definitely check that out.

Want to get up close and personal with your favorite F1-related personalities, or perhaps hang out…

Good luck with that, parking passes are very limited and very expensive. If you do have one, . Your best bet may be to park downtown or at the Travis County Expo Center and take a shuttle. More details on that .

Anticipating your every need, we've already put together .

If you're coming to Circuit of the Americas for the United States Grand Prix, welcome! We're here…

The best in the business.

Got to. This is America, man.