What Car Should Someone Buy If They Absolutely Hate Cars?

The hard part about loving cars is that people who hate cars keep asking you what car they should buy.

The way I see it, there are three ways to break this down:

dull cars that just get from A to B in the most secure, reliable, efficient manner

anti-cars that advertise to the world you hate cars

fun cars that slowly trick the owner into loving their vehicle

We took a look at all of these categories in a surprisingly comprehensive manner. What do you tell your clueless buddies who pester you for car buying advice?

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